cries or laughter.

i never knew it could kill just by being jealous.

who knows when will it happen on me..
im getting jealous just by looking or even hearing what she did with other guys.
even though they are just friends...
i dont know,,,
waited for so long...
i never minded the time ive waited.
but im just afraid to get hurt.
maybe because of my first experience...
or maybe its just the lack of her comfort.
she always give me the feeling that i might lose her anytime.
i dont feel safe.
this is before we are together.
what will happen if we really made things out..?

that question came to my mind today.
after thinking of it...
i felt really down (emotional)
i really need her but when will i lose her?
plus i have so many weak points ,
i am not that mr perfect.
who am i ?
im just an ordinary guy with loads of bad points.
so what if i like her?

any idea how i fell in love with her..?
it was never something on purpose.
i dont know when .
but on that day,
when i saw her that very day,
i knew she was it.
i fell in love,
or maybe into this state,
this state of helplessness.
i never will mention unhappiness because i am happy.
with her.
just being able to see her for this few months..
i had happy memories..
even thought we had unhappy times,
we went though it together right?...
who would know.. i will fall into this darkness..

do you know me,, well let me tall you.
no one does.
even i dont
how would you?