mayybee its too hardd..

MAYBE...
Iff i were better
MAYBE
Iff you loved me more
MAYBE
Iff we could put things together
MAYBE
Iff i tried harder
MAYBE
Iff i had more time

I would be with you by now.

BUT now...
maybe...
i should give up

heyy guyys

i don't know whats up lately.
feelings are'nt fading
but im just feeling not right.
the insercurity, the jealousy.
everything..
i just dont know what to de know man.
everything is cocked up and .
im really lost.
dont ask why.
just read and shush.
i <3>

dayyys

happy , sad whatever.

wed
woke up late, did lms.
rot.
rawhs

thurs
wokeup late again, loged in lms, rot
then went find junxian.

fri
happy day lols
com cannot work
so went jx house find him and viv
went bugis lols
they bought alot of things
lols
i bought red formal, lols jes didnt like it , said can find better ones (:
and a black skinny tie. lols(LOST)
cool rite?
haiis sad ar
whatever , who cares ><
then went home to do almost nothing then set off to viv's place
hahas
her parents took us to china town to walk walk
theres jes, viv, me, junxian and rach.
lols no space on the car so viv sit on jiejie's legg , boon sit on mine lols
super funn hao ma?
lols
we joked on the car lols
the whole car was super cold thanks to me (:
lols
they suan me infront of viv's daddy and mommy T-T
no face liaos
hahas
then i dun wanna talk.
then we went eating in kopi tiam
lols
super full la hahas
then we went walkwalk in the streets
hahs
manymany funny stuffs there and i loved the dayy.
hahs
after that we went on the car again then went to katib ba lols the prawns fishing there i was the second day le lols
we had some green tea and vodka.
they say no kick de so i never try lols
played pool and had fun , blahblah .
hahs
then went home le
haddd super fun dayyy
i love their parents!!
theyy rawkkk!!!
<3
before we left the place,
viv and me saw super loads of stars...
i regreted playing pool..
should watched stars instead..


sat
nothing to do at home .
woke up in after noon and watched tv
jx com crashed so i went see
and slacked with himm
then went lan
play few hours and went home

sun -today
lols woke up after jes called.
say i pig ARGGGHHH
she also pig hao ma!!
hahas
play pool lols
sad SHE not there lols super fun larrs!
but she not there..


anywayys...
i will want to go back again.. one night
with her.
to watch the sun set
the appereance of the stars,, till morning comes.
and watch the sun rise .
if only...

cries or laughter.

i never knew it could kill just by being jealous.

who knows when will it happen on me..
im getting jealous just by looking or even hearing what she did with other guys.
even though they are just friends...
i dont know,,,
waited for so long...
i never minded the time ive waited.
but im just afraid to get hurt.
maybe because of my first experience...
or maybe its just the lack of her comfort.
she always give me the feeling that i might lose her anytime.
i dont feel safe.
this is before we are together.
what will happen if we really made things out..?

that question came to my mind today.
after thinking of it...
i felt really down (emotional)
i really need her but when will i lose her?
plus i have so many weak points ,
i am not that mr perfect.
who am i ?
im just an ordinary guy with loads of bad points.
so what if i like her?

any idea how i fell in love with her..?
it was never something on purpose.
i dont know when .
but on that day,
when i saw her that very day,
i knew she was it.
i fell in love,
or maybe into this state,
this state of helplessness.
i never will mention unhappiness because i am happy.
with her.
just being able to see her for this few months..
i had happy memories..
even thought we had unhappy times,
we went though it together right?...
who would know.. i will fall into this darkness..

do you know me,, well let me tall you.
no one does.
even i dont
how would you?

FCUK

FUCK YOU.
what the hell sia.
you know already.
how hard it is for us to communicate.
why the fcuk did you scold me for?
i never spoke back because i did not want to quarrel.
are you that dumb?
you dont know why the fcuk did i not reply everytime you scolded me?

HERE THE FCUKING TRUTH.
I AM INTELLIGENT ENOUGH TO KNOW WHEN SHOULD I REPLY AND WHEN SHOULD I NOT REPLY TO YOUR FCUKINGLY STU`PID CONVERSATIONS OF YOURS.

dont think that im just a push over if i dont reply to you .
I JUST DID NOT WANNA WASTE MY TIME.
you think you can win if we fight?
the answer is yes but its only because I LET YOU WIN.
growing up , if theres one thing i learned most is to have THE FCUKING RESPECT FOR ELDERS AND FRIENDS.

well heres ANOTHER SHOCKING TRUTH.
IF I GET INTO A FIGHT, I WILL WIN .
BECAUSE I RESPECT MYSELF AND IF I FIGHT WITH ANY FCUKING PERSON.
I ONLY FIGHT BECAUSE I HAVE SOMETHING TO PROTECT.

and the guy i scolded in class a few days ago,
I DONT NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT.
YOU SEE THAT GUY ABOVE CAUSED ALL THIS.
YOU GET RID OF HIM , EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
WELL BUT YOU CANT
HE IS MY FCUKING FATHER!.
SO FCUK OFF AND STOP YEKING ABOUT WHY I SHOUTED.

FUCK.

HAHAHS
please i hate that small headed big body freak.
shouted at that freak in class and her wanted to report.
wtf fun ha
i just hate to get ruined in your dirty hands
kns i dont mind kane-ing anyway but this is my last year, clean recort fot 3 years and now this?
child like bustard. ;D
now have to write 350 words for him :/
shit him. -.-

haiss so sian wised i could do something more with life.

tts all . b readers.

TMD
have own blog go extra other ppl's blog
si bei bo liao.

btw hongster here xD
i will never die cus
-hongster never die xD

rawhs